Religion

Beside my little weekend coding project, I am looking within myself to find out why I am religiously-challenged.  I can see both the benefits and the cost of having a religion and, overall, having a religion is a good deal although mileage differs depending on the religion.  My problem is that I can't get it even if I wanted it, a disability of the religious-kind.

I do think there might be one or more divine beings, things, or forces.  I know that science can't explain everything and, so called hard science, is just a house of cards built on guesses guided by theories and observations.  So far the theory of gravity holds although it's not the theory that keeps my feet on the ground.

My attitude is that if there is a divine being and I have no way of confirming the being's existance except by a leap of faith, the being's existance doesn't matter to me.  Also I don't like the idea of a divine being affecting my life with invisible hands whether it's for my benefit or not.  What is the point of crying about privacy if there are divine beings hanging around watching you all the time?

In the few occasions I found myself inside a church, I saw a half-naked man hanging on a wall.  When I listen to the silence and expressions on the faces of the worshippers in the church, I could literally feel a gentle breeze of faith swirling around me.  It made the hair on the back of my head standup.  It was like the church was filled with a huge invisible person wished into being by the worshippers and I was inside his bowel.  I don't like being inside anyone's stomach.

I think my unusually imaginative mind is part of the problem.  Unfortunately, I have little control over my mind automatically summing up what I observe and presenting the result as senses of visions, sounds, or smells.  If you don't know what I am talking about, think about the common expression "it stinks."

So, I want to but can't get religion.  I think it is possible to dig into deep recesses of my mind and rewire the parts that prevents me but that would raise the cost of having a religion too high.  It just wouldn't be me afterward, sort of like losing my mind to another persona.  Anyway, it was Sunday, so I thought about religion.  I hope what I wrote for my sake doesn't offend you.